It’s been a month since the break up. Would love some advice. Read the story.

2021.12.03 19:28 maxwellsilverhammerr It’s been a month since the break up. Would love some advice. Read the story.

I’ve posted on this sub before for various things regarding my most recent breakup and I got a lot of good feedback and advice so I thought I’d put the whole story up hoping I can get some closure out of knowing what people think. I’ll leave a tldr
Me and my ex started dating a little over a year and a half ago. We met through my sister who was very close friends with her for many years. In total, we’ve known her for about 7-8 years. She was always a great friend to us and shared common interests. My mother lived with me and my sister and had major drug/alcohol abuse issues. At the time my ex was very supportive of us and was constantly giving us advice and helping us at home with her. Eventually we started spending time together alone and we developed a very close relationship that eventually became romantic. I didn’t ask her to be my gf right away, I waited because I wanted to be sure of what I wanted. Eventually I felt like she was eager for me to ask and she brought it up and I asked her right then. We spent loads of time together. Everyday. We did fun things together, made art, went shopping, played games, you name it. Everything was great except I noticed early on she was very particular and at times selfish. It was never too much because she always showed she cared and often times she made me feel like she was lucky to have me and she even said as much. Some time passes and she gets a job working at a restaurant near my home. When we she started there she instantly clicked with some co workers and started staying after for drinks after work and developing a whole new crowd of friends. And that’s when we started to drift. At first, we talked about it and she would try and make sure I’m okay with what she was doing and I’d try and go and hang out with her new friends but I never really enjoyed the scene and she started to drift even more. Eventually she started drinking a bunch and she wouldn’t come home until super late. One night she went out after we were supposed to go to dinner but the power went out so she said she’d go get take away from her work and have a drink and come right home. She never came home. I told her I was really disappointed and she told me she was sorry and I moved on. At this point I’m starting to really question our relationship so a week goes by and I ask her while we’re in bed to talk to me and tell me what’s going on for real. Hesitantly she told me she wasn’t happy anymore and that my family and my life weigh down on her and she wanted to “go places and meet new people”. Mid convo she says she can’t do it and leaves in the middle of the night. That night I ended up talking to my sister who told me that she was told by a close friend and co worker of my ex that she was with a guy she works with that whole night she disappeared. The same guy who I’ve asked about in the past (I had a hunch from the way she talked about him and how much they hung out). So at this point I’m upset and ready to leave her so I tell her to come home in the morning so we can talk. She asked if we were gonna break up. I said I didn’t know. She comes home the next morning and I tell her I think she’s cheated and that I can’t trust her and that my sister was also mad at her. The whole time she didn’t say much, just insisted that she didn’t cheat and that she’s just been unhappy and that’s about it. She kept trying to go to sleep so I woke her up and told her to either pack her shit or tell me we’re gonna work on things. She says she wants to work on things and she goes to bed. The next day I texted her a lot, nothing toxic but we went back and forth and I told her I really wanted to talk and squash this that night. After work, she got drunk with her friends and never came home. The next day she comes over and I begged her to stay with me and not to throw away this time and she’s just nodding her head no. We broke up that morning and she took almost all of her stuff with her. A couple days go by, I ask her to come over and I beg her once more to come back. Makes me feel embarrassed now. She says no and some time goes by and I’m heartbroken. One day I text her again she’s blowing me off giving me the cold shoulder so I went off on her and said some pretty mean but deserving words. She didn’t appreciate them and showed no interest in taking anymore about us and what happened. Randomly I message one of her friends to ask how things are and how she is and this friend tells me that she’s disgusted with her. That she hung out with this guy behind my back and hers. Now everyone knows what happened and she’s just hanging out with this guy like nothing happened. I found out she was staying at his house 24 hours after the breakup. Is this a rebound? Is this her leaving me for someone else? The guy is a tool and is known for mistreating women. Don’t make sense. It’s been about two weeks NC and slowly I’m started to heal. She had a couple things she still hasn’t picked up but I feel like she’s a coward considering she knows what everyone in this house thinks of her. I hate that I didn’t get closure, but I feel like I don’t ever want anything to do with her again. Someone who I loved more than anyone in the world. And now all I can imagine is her having sex with other people thinking it’s worth more to her than what she had at home all along. I lost my mom and my gf to booze it seems sometimes, that’s the only common denominator. I’m ready to move on, but my heart hurts so badly.
Tdlr; Everything was perfect at first. Close connection, real love. She started drinking and spending time with new fiends at work and she fell out of love with me. Infidelity was a factor on her part. She cheated and possibly left me for someone else. I don’t want to talk to her ever again. How do I find closure?
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View Poll
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